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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28837092">Trying Again.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinervaHope/pseuds/MinervaHope'>MinervaHope</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Badass Armin Arlert, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Eren Yeager, Jealousy, M/M, Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Armin Arlert Friendship, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Overprotective Mikasa Ackerman, POV Eren Yeager, Pining Eren Yeager, Protective Eren Yeager, Slow Burn, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:22:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28837092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinervaHope/pseuds/MinervaHope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Armin's death Eren asks for another chance, he lost count of how many chances he's gotten by now.</p><p>Or</p><p>Eren goes back in time but things are not even near the same as in the original timeline, saving Armin was going to be harder this time around (not that he'd ever succeded before)</p><p> </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>252</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Preface.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Armin died, Eren felt it in the very core of his soul. Even though he wasn't there when it happened, he felt it. </p><p>The air left his lungs.</p><p>His blood ran cold.</p><p>This couldn't be happening. </p><p>Again. He needed more time. Again.</p><p>
  <cite>"Don't you get tired of trying so much, Eren Jaeger?"</cite>
</p><p>No. He needed to start over. He would much rather live in this hell for eternity than exist without him.</p><p>
  <cite> "As you wish, it's not  like I have something better to do anyway."</cite>
</p><p>A blinding light appeared right where the sky meets the sea, growing wider and bigger as the seconds passed. He felt nothing as the light burned everything he knew. </p><p>But it was okay, soon he'll meet Armin again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was almost funny how in every timeline he had lived, his father always seemed to think that he was some kind of anti-social psychopath. </p>
<p>There were a couple of times where he tried to befriend Armin and Mikasa long before it was needed. Eren stopped doing that when he realized that it altered the events in the years to come. Normally he wouldn’t care about the consequences but the farther the events get from the, let’s refer to it as the “original timeline” the harder it becomes for Eren to protect Armin and Mikasa. If he knew what to expect, it was easier.</p>
<p>Eren tended to forget things about the original timeline as the years passed by. After the age of twelve his memories began to overlap and eventually he couldn’t identify which memories were from the original timeline and which were from the alterations that he had caused. </p>
<p>It’s difficult to explain forgetting something but knowing how it’s going to turn out. The most similar sensation that Eren could compare it to was experiencing a Deja-vu. You don’t know what’s happening until it’s already happening. </p>
<p>To be honest it kinda pissed him off. </p>
<p>But now, with eight years old, he remembered almost perfectly all the timelines.</p>
<p>And he remembered losing Armin in every single one of them. </p>
<p>Because he was a coward.</p>
<p>Because the only thing he knew that it could change something, really make a difference, he wasn’t willing to do.</p>
<p>Coward.</p>
<p>
  <cite>Useless.</cite>
</p>
<p>His thoughts were interrupted when someone collided with him, making his bag slip off his hands and the bread in it fall on to the floor. </p>
<p>Eren turned around, ready to curse the asshole who had pushed him but he froze in place.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so so sorry!” Said the boy as he knelt to pick up the bread and put it inside of the bag again. </p>
<p>Eren couldn’t move.</p>
<p>What should he do? It was too soon. </p>
<p>He should turn around and leave. </p>
<p>He really should.</p>
<p>Then, the boy looked up at him. His gorgeous blue eyes met Eren’s, all kind and wholesome.</p>
<p>Armin Arlert was truthfully too much for this sucky world. An angel on earth. The earth didn’t deserve him. Eren didn’t deserve him...</p>
<p>But Eren was selfish. He always had been. </p>
<p>“It’s okay,” He mumbled, trying to fight the blush that he felt on his cheeks. </p>
<p>Armin nodded before standing up, shifting his weight. Something he did when he was nervous, Eren noticed.</p>
<p>“My mom doesn’t have to know that these touched the floor” The green-eyed said gesturing the bag in his hand. “And what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.” </p>
<p>It took all in him to turn around and start to walk towards his house again. Too soon, he kept repeating to himself, too soon.</p>
<p>“Wait!” </p>
<p>Eren stopped dead in his tracks, letting the footsteps behind him catch up with him.</p>
<p>“I’m Armin.” The boy said to him, small smile adorning his face, and with the sunset reflecting on his blond hair, making it seem like it was glowing.</p>
<p><cite>Make a rude comment and leave. It’s too soon.</cite> </p>
<p>And he knew he should. In theory, he knew he should have just done that.</p>
<p>But it was Armin... And he had spent the last eight years missing him.</p>
<p>“Eren.” He replied with a soft voice.</p>
<p>And as in cue, Armin extended him a hand for him to shake. Not that the blond boy knew it yet but hand-holding was something that they shared. Armin’s hand was Eren’s to hold. </p>
<p>Eren took the hand and squeezed sightly before shaking it. </p>
<p>
  <cite>This time I’m not going to lose you, I swear.</cite>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The hero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His doubts about whether he did the right thing or not when he introduced himself to Armin died the first time that the blond boy appeared on his doorway.</p>
<p>“Hello!”</p>
<p>As soon as he heard the voice, the spoon he was holding almost slipped off his hand making the cereal and the milk fall off and splash him slightly. His mother , sitting right beside him, took a napkin to try to clean him.</p>
<p>“Eren, be careful, honey.”</p>
<p>His father was standing on the doorway and because he was so tall he could barely see Armin. But the voice... He would know that voice anywhere.</p>
<p>“Hello, young man,”</p>
<p>“Armin, sir! Is Eren home?”</p>
<p>And the green-eyed had to bit the inside of his cheek to restrain himself from smiling too much. They had barely known each other for ten days (at least in this timeline) and their friendship already felt like the most natural thing in the world.</p>
<p>“Yes, he is... He’s finishing his breakfast,”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. I can come back later,”</p>
<p>The funniest thing of it all was hearing Grisha’s surprise in his voice. That surprise was due to at least five different reasons, but Eren suspected that the most surprising one was that his psychopath of a child had managed to befriend an angel-like boy that smiled a lot and called him sir. He was probably expecting that the day where Eren befriended someone it would probably be those punks that bullied children and drank wine way too early in life.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Armin,” Eren spoke. “ I’m not hungry anymore-“ He said, getting up from the chair very abruptly for his mother’s liking.</p>
<p>“Absolutely not,” Carla scowled him, “you finish your cereal. Your friend can come in and wait for you, right?” And the last part she said it looking at Armin who nodded in return and smiled politely.</p>
<p>His father moved aside to indicate that Armin could come in and then the two of them took a seat at the table, Armin choosing the seat right in front of him.</p>
<p>It was a Sunday, Grisha had the day off (unfortunately for him), he would much rather not have his father looking at him like he had grown a second head for managing to make a friend. As if Eren had wanted to spend the first eight years of this lifetime without talking to Armin.</p>
<p>His mother managed to get the story of how they met without prying or embarrassing him too much. Armin was of course very polite and answered all her questions with a smile.</p>
<p>After a while they said their goodbyes and marched off to the woods outside Shiganshina, in Wall Maria.</p>
<p>“You look like your mom.”</p>
<p>“Are you saying that I look like a girl or something?” Eren asked, amused; red colored Armin’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“N-No! She’s just very pretty.“</p>
<p>And that made Eren smile even wider.</p>
<p>“So you’re saying that I’m pretty.”</p>
<p>If it was possible, Armin’s cute face got even redder.</p>
<p>“Let it go, Eren”</p>
<p>“I don't think I will,”</p>
<p>“Your mom is nice though, and you’re a terror, where does that come from?”</p>
<p><cite>'My father'</cite>.</p>
<p>The words were at the tip of his tongue, but he ignored the need to speak them out loud and started running towards the woods.</p>
<p>“Last one to get there is a Titan!”</p>
<p>“Hey, wait! That’s cheating!” Armin yelled as he started to run after him.</p>
<p>**</p>
<p>It was kind of horrible for Eren to admit this, but he was really hoping that it would be just him and Armin for a couple of years.</p>
<p> In the original timeline they only had six months until Eren saved Mikasa and his family had taken her in. It almost felt like a slap on the face when it was Armin who introduced him to Mikasa. That hadn't happened in <cite>any</cite> of the timelines that he had lived. It had always been Eren, and there was a reason for that: Mikasa tended to get <cite>too</cite> attached to the first person that showed her kindness (therefore the whole wearing that red scarf, even when it was summer and she looked like she was going to pass out from the heat). So, now, as it had been Armin who apparently had helped her to get home after she had sprained her ankle, Mikasa wore that soft look when she looked at Armin instead of Eren. </p>
<p>The only good thing about this was that Eren wouldn't have to deal with Mikasa's crush on him, he guessed. The bad thing was that Mikasa had her arm over Armin's shoulder for support because her ankle hurt too much (or that was what she had claimed before) and the green-eyed was experiencing something that he knew too well by now.</p>
<p>"Is she coming to our tree too?" He asked and maybe it came out a little more harshly than he intended.</p>
<p>Armin blinked, his big blue eyes shining with curiosity, probably because he was trying to place Eren's tone of voice. Mikasa, on the other hand, limited herself to narrow her eyes.</p>
<p>"Yes, she's coming to hear my story too."</p>
<p>See? It already had started, Armin would share everything with her too and ,eventually, the things that were supposed to be 'Eren only' would become 'Mikasa and Eren only', and don't get him wrong, he loved to spend time with her, he loved Mikasa (even if it wasn't in the way she wanted him to in the original timeline) but it was difficult to recognize if Armin had <cite>some</cite> feelings for him when he tried to not make any difference between the two of them. The only thing he could say about that was that the blond normally smiled more around him, spoke a little softer to him than  Mikasa or he would  eventually speak to any of the scouts. But it could be him imagining things, after all he was so used to his useless pining and the ridiculous butterflies that it wouldn't surprise him.</p>
<p>They walked a little too slowly for Eren's liking, after all they only had a couple of hours until sunset, which was the time they were supposed to get home. When they got to the big oak, they sat under it,  Armin took out his notebook from his bag and started to read.</p>
<p>Armin's stories were always the best thing in Eren's day. How he described the places where the heroes slayed titans, dragons and where good triumphs over evil. He loved that the blond had a vision of what was good so clear... That vision would change over time, he knew,but for now it was almost soothing to think that the world was black and white, that they were just three kids that would grow up and have adventures, that they would be the good guys.</p>
<p>(It was funny how in every timeline he had lived, he had tried to be the good guy of Armin's story. Even if he knew that the 'good guy' was a matter of perspective, of who narrated the events. Eren would die trying to be the hero of Armin's story, even though he had failed in every chance he'd gotten).</p>
<p>"The knight kept fighting with the huge titan, fearless, trying to gain time for the princess to run away." There was a pause, the blond boy loved to pause his tale just to see if it was entertaining enough for his audience, and of course it was.</p>
<p>"And did she? Did she run away?" Mikasa asked with her soft, timid voice, filled with curiosity.</p>
<p>The glint in Armin's eyes was something that he would never get used to, even with all the memories, it would always make him feel like it was the first time looking at his blue eyes.</p>
<p>"She didn't." The blond boy declared and Mikasa gasped as Armin lowered his eyes to continue reading. "The princess thought about running away, after all, it didn't seem like she had other options; but seeing the knight fighting gave her strength, a strength she wasn't aware that she had inside of her. She took the sword that his father had left her before he passed away and cut the titans ankles, making him fall as it whined in pain. The knight froze as he watched the scene, it was only when the titan turned around, livid and with the intention of swallowing the Princess whole that he attacked the beast. He cut the back of its neck and he saved her."</p>
<p>"But the princess saved the knight first." Eren said with a soft smile forming on his lips.</p>
<p>"Yes, it was because they worked together that they won."</p>
<p>Mikasa clapped happily and asked Armin to read it again, and if maybe this time the princess and the knight could kiss in the end. Armin laughed and said that maybe that was the happy ending that they deserved, that it was a great idea.</p>
<p>Eren wished that Armin's happy endings would happen in real life. That everytime they fought together side by side would have turned out alright, that the knight got to kiss the Princess in the end... or Prince... Or maybe another knight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! let me know what you thought, every kudos and comment means a lot to me :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Brave</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eren had lost count of how many times he'd listened to Armin telling him about the outside world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> It didn't matter, It was irrelevant. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eren would always be reminded of what it meant to have a purpose, to have the urge, the need, to be free when Armin looked at him with those deep blue eyes with the promise that one day they would travel the world, visit deserts, walk on  ice, sail the endless ocean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wanted, more than anything, for Armin to see it all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"We'll go someday." He assured him, "We'll see the ocean together." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it's the only thing that he could say for sure, he couldn't promise him to see it all, but he could promise him they'll see the ocean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Armin beamed at Eren and he felt like the air had left his lungs for a couple of seconds. He was only reminded that he was, in fact, breathing when the blond boy pulled him into a bone crushing hug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're the best friend I've ever had." Eren heard him confess and he couldn't help but to smile in return while he closed his arms around the boy too. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're mine too."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The happiness was washed off and replaced by the feeling of guilt. He didn't deserve that title, he was selfish, he was so <cite>useless</cite>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You see, there were some events that were supposed to happen. Even if he didn't want them to. And everytime he had tried to change them, every single time they had ended up happening in a different way. He knew them all, he repeated them inside his head over and over:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Armin's Parents death was one of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mikasa getting kidnapped. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Him turning into a Titan shifter was another.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Armin's death-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No. He refused to think that <cite>that </cite> was unchangeable. No God, Demon, universe could be so unfair as to create his favorite person in the entire world, his... <cite>soulmate </cite> only to take him away ten years later. It was ridiculously cruel, so he refused to believe it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's a secret, but my parents will be going to the outside world soon..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eren felt his heart sunk inside his chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh, yeah?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And he heard the plan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>**</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It shouldn't have surprised Eren that Mikasa's kidnapping had changed. In the original timeline the safest bet to kidnap her had been  her house, even with her parents there; but now she had friends to go meet, places to be, a bunch of streets to walk alone in the middle of the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a Thursday in the afternoon and when Mikasa hadn't appeared in their tree at the established time, And it was Armin who thought the worst out of the situation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"She's never late." He had said to him with worry written all over his angelic face, and the green-eyed didn't have to think twice about what could have happened... After all, it was Mikasa and her unchangeable event.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Maybe she's just hiding around, for a prank or something-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"She wouldn't do that, Eren!" Yes, he was aware of that, but he couldn't think about another excuse for them to go to the cabin that was about a kilometer away from their tree (a cabin that Eren did not know about in that timeline). In all the other timelines he had gone alone, and in the original one, he had followed their footprints because it had rained the day before, he was ten, and thought himself fucking invincible. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay, calm down. We'll find her, she's probably not far away... How I about I go looking for her and you wait here in case she's just running late-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No way! I'm coming with you, we don't know what happened to her, if she needs help or something."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Actually, Eren did know, and he didn't want for Armin to get involved in all of that. He didn't want for Armin to see him slaughter two grown men with his bare hands. The blond boy still thought of good and evil in a pure and naive kind of way, Eren didn't want to fuck that up... And, well, most of all... Eren didn't want  Armin looking at him differently. But no matter how much he tried to convince him to stay, his friend wasn't having any of it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That's how they ended up in the cabin, spying on the two men ('three', Eren corrected himself mentally, 'they're three, remember'), hearing them talk obscenities about Mikasa and the price they were going to sell her for, given her age, gender and ethnicity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Armin started to crawl towards the doorstep and Eren grabbed his wrist to stop him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What are you doin??" He whispered. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"There's a window on the side, right next to her, try to open it, okay?  I'm going to distract them, you go inside and get Mikasa-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Brave. Armin had always been so brave and to Eren's misfortune he also thought himself <cite>disposable</cite>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you insane?? No. They can get you too!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm a boy." He replied with a frown, confused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<cite>So</cite>?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Armin was about to reply but a deep voice stopped him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I think I heard something-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blond boy widened his eyes and, as a reflex, pushed Eren to the nearest bush with all the strength that his little body had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It all happened so fast. The man found Armin, the boy pretended to have hurted his head, saying that he thought it was bleeding or something, that he felt dizzy. Eren felt his heart racing so fast as he rounded the cabin to get to the window that Armin had said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <cite>He's going to die on you... way sooner than he ever had.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <cite>Useless.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <cite>Coward.</cite>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn't even have the knife on him this time around. What the hell was he thinking? </p>
<p>Desperately, he looked around and found a rock, he took it and used it to break the damn window and take a piece of broken glass before hiding again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What the hell...?" He heard the man with Armin say before screaming in pain. "You little son of a bitch- He bit me!!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Eren had never wanted more to go over there and save him, but he knew that if he couldn't get in to get Mikasa that they wouldn't be able to run away from there at all. He climbed the window, into the house, only to find the other man coming right at him, livid. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eren didn't even hesitate as he stabbed him in the stomach with everything he had. Then the neck, repeatedly.(He really wished that Armin wasn't currently watching this). When  he felt the weight of his body fall over him, he pushed him away and ran towards Mikasa to untie her as fast as he could. Armin, he needed to get to Armin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Eren.” He heard her say as the girl recognized him and then turned her head to the side. “Armin," She whispered, still catatonic, looking as the blond boy struggled against the man on the door. Biting, scratching, punching, spitting, fighting him...</p>
<p><cite>Fight, Eren, fight</cite>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes, you run, I'll help him."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Mikasa was already grabbing another piece of broken glass and standing up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Wait-" Eren said as he failed to stop her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's like in the story!" Mikasa stated with determination in her voice, "they won because they worked together."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she threw herself on the man, stabbing his back with as much fierceless courage as he remembered from all his timelines. Eren wasn't far behind, again going for the neck, after all it was easier, faster.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They never got to see the third man, he never came... Maybe he had seen the three savage children slaughtering his friends and decided to run away, maybe he got lost on his way there, maybe he had been eaten by a Titan for all that Eren cared at the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One of the officers from the military police found them and sent his partner to get their families. They gave them some food and water and a blanket as they waited on the porch from the cabin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thank you," Mikasa said with her soft melodic voice. "You're the bravest knights,"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it wasn't until she had spoken those words that Eren had understood what she meant in the cabin... That Armin was the knight and he was distracting  the man to save her... So that would make her the princess in the story,  that meant she needed to fight back to save him too. He supposed that she also recognized Eren as a knight (because she said so only seconds ago) but the look on her eyes told him that it was different with Armin...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their parents came to get them, Mikasa said goodbye to the both of them with a kiss on their cheeks ( Eren made an effort not to read the obvious parallel with the kiss between the knight and the princess in the story into this particular situation); Eren's parents yelled like there was no tomorrow and it was only when his blond friend had confessed that it had been his idea that they decided to shut up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Armin's grandfather was still sick so Carla and Grisha were supposed to get him home safely. Now they were talking to the officer, god only knew about what, and him and Armin were still sitting on the porch. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn't want to ask him. He really really didn‘y want to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What if he had seen? What if he now knew that Eren was actually a monster, a cold blooded one- </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You were really brave there," Armin said and Eren froze in place. "You saved me and Mikasa."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked down, avoiding those blue eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Mikasa saved you, I wasn't even near fast enough..." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't say that." Armin cut him short, putting a hand over his. "I should have listened to you... You were right, you know? When he grabbed me he started to say things..." And his voice started to sound a little weaker.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <cite>Things.</cite>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What had that <cite>swine</cite> said to Armin?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Eren, you're shaking..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I should 've been faster. What did he say to you?" He asked, his voice strangled. Fucking hell, he was so <cite>weak</cite>. The tears were starting to appear in his eyes, blurring his vision, when Armin took his face in his delicate hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Those huge blue eyes looking at him, fiercely determined.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Nothing. Nothing important. And you were exactly on time. You saved us, do you hear me?" But the tears started to roll down his chubby cheeks, wetting Armin's hands, and a sob escaped his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> <cite>Useless, useless, useless</cite>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> " Don't cry. You're the best friend I've ever had-" Another sob, more tears. "You are the bravest knight alive." Armin said, so kind and ethereal before kissing his right cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt the kiss burning his skin, his face probably redder than it had been in any of the other god damn timelines. Eren didn't want to move one inch, he didn't even want to breath too hard just in case it scared the boy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Arms wrapped him in the warmest hug he'd ever gotten and he didn't lose one second to hug him back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm so happy that you're safe." Eren said and that single sentence actually meant so much more than what his friend could understand at that point in their lives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stayed just like that until Grisha and Carla called for them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I hope you’ve liked this one! Please let me know what you thought of it, I was so nervous to post it🙃✨✨</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, you all!! I'm honestly so excited to post this chapter, it's such a breaking point for all the characters and how they interact. Every comment, theory, kudos is very appreciated!! It means a lot to me to see if you are all enjoying it :))</p>
<p>Ps: I don't know if I said this earlier but English is not my first language, I'm so sorry if you find any errors in this fic (gammatical or vocabulary)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eren was frankly tired of watching his mother die. It would have been nice to say that it had stopped hurting around the third or fourth timeline but it hadn't. What <cite>had</cite> happened was that he had stopped trying to stop it... Because, at first, he had thought that the unchangeable thing was Carla's death... But it wasn't: the unchangeable thing was Carla getting eaten by a titan. It molded Eren's motive and personality, just like Armin's parents dying trying to get to the outside world, it needed to happen that way or the hate that he felt towards the creatures would never be the same. </p>
<p>At least it would be only a couple of years more until his memory would start to fail. He hated having all this knowledge about things and just letting them happen, he hated that his job was to wait around and try for Armin to not get killed in the process ( a job where he sucked at, he might add).</p>
<p>Now he’d just awoken in the shelter with Mikasa and Armin at his side. His head was killing him and the dizzy kind of feeling was somewhat familiar. He felt metal against his chest and when he reached to pull the leather  string that was hanging around his neck only to find his father’s basement key attached to it. </p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p>The transformation. </p>
<p>Just great.</p>
<p>He looked at his friends and the both of them had this somber look on their faces... It didn’t surprise him, Mikasa’s mother had been missing since the Colossal Titan had appeared and her father had taken her to the boat without looking back; there they found Armin and his Grandfather and lastly it was Eren who had been escorted by Hannes to the goddamn boat.</p>
<p>This time he had been alone while he had seen his mom get eaten...</p>
<p>And now it was just the three of them because Armin’s grandfather and Mikasa’s dad were supposedly called to engage a mission with the goal of getting back Wall Maria... They had been sent to slaughter would be a more accurate description of the situation.</p>
<p>“Are you okay? You seemed to be having a nightmare” Armin said with a soft voice.</p>
<p>
  <cite>‘Living a nightmare seems more like it.’</cite>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah... You? No news yet?” He asked and it was in moments like this that he wished he was already twelve and clueless. Being clueless had been like his whole personality in the original timeline.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Armin shook his head and he could see how his eyes were starting to shine from the tears that were threatening to come out. </p>
<p>“They’re fine. Dad is probably just looking for mama.” </p>
<p>Mikasa had always been a denier.</p>
<p>Armin just looked at her, reading her, analyzing if she genuinely believed that or not. It took him a couple of seconds before he realized that  she did.</p>
<p>The blond smiled softly and nodded.</p>
<p>“You’re right. And Grandpa surely is helping him. He knows his way around there.”</p>
<p>And the way that the girl smiled at him... That was something quite memorable. </p>
<p>That night, with the sound of Mikasa’s soft snores near him, and with the whispers from the other survivors surrounding them, Eren dared himself to ask.</p>
<p>He first shove Armin slightly and when the blond turned his head to face him he said:</p>
<p>“Why did you lie today?” </p>
<p>Because Armin didn’t lie... The only time he had lied to him was- <br/><cite>That time.</cite></p>
<p>Shiganshina’s battle. </p>
<p>Armin and his <cite>stupid</cite> bravery.</p>
<p>Eren often asked himself if it was possible that the thing he loved most about him as the thing he hated the most. </p>
<p>“Because she needed hope. What’s wrong with that?”</p>
<p>“Nothing... I just- you don’t lie.”</p>
<p>Armin blinked a couple of times, his gaze penetrating Eren’s, almost like he was trying to read his every thought.</p>
<p>“To you.”</p>
<p>“...What?”</p>
<p>“I don’t lie <cite>to you</cite>”</p>
<p>“Oh”</p>
<p>Armin snuggled closer to him before closing his eyes. As if after that confession the only thing that was left to do was to sleep. As if it hadn’t planted even more questions inside of Eren’s head.</p>
<p>
  <cite>’Then why did you lie to me then?’</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>‘When will I turn into someone you lie to?’</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>‘What will I do to turn into that person?’</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>‘How do I stop it?’</cite>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The years passed with the promise that the Survey Corps had been somehow mistaken and there <cite>were</cite> survivors outside Wall Rose.</p>
<p>Armin insisted that Mikasa needed hope to keep going, a purpose in life that had to do with something that wasn’t only taking care of them and protecting them. Eren had been wary at first but he had to admit that Mikasa didn’t seem like she might cry if either Armin or him broke a leg as in the other timelines... And maybe it was because now she shared the wish to get out of this walls with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Scouting Legion was the most, let’s say,<cite>legal</cite> way of getting out and exploring the outside world.(There were others, like with Armin’s parents, but if you got caught you could be sentenced to death so that was out of question). </p>
<p>So they made plans, plans that were too familiar to him: enlisting at twelve just to be able to then join the Survey Corps and eventually getting the hell out of Wall Rose. In the meantime they found themselves a job at this farm where they gave them food and shelter in exchange for their work. </p>
<p>A couple of months before Eren’s twelve birthday, after a long day of work, he happened to have the most enlightening conversation with Mikasa. </p>
<p>Armin was cleaning himself up before dinner and Mikasa and him were resting down beside the little pond. Being alone with her always brought him this feeling of family that was probably due to the other timelines.</p>
<p>She took out a notebook out of her bag, the one that Armin had gifted to her before it all went to shit, and opened in the last page that seemed to have been written a long time ago.</p>
<p>“We’re almost done.” She said, a soft smile on her face.</p>
<p>“Done?”</p>
<p>“Only your birthday is left, then: training.”</p>
<p>“Right, the Titan slaying,” He replied, trying to seem interested in it.</p>
<p>Twelfth birthday, say goodbye to his memories. </p>
<p>He always got this anxiety near the damn date. Don’t get him wrong, he wanted to forget, to act normal for once, but the whole <cite>not knowing</cite>... It terrified him. He needed to keep Armin safe, and how would he  do it if he would always forget important shit. </p>
<p>“The outside, Eren. Wall Maria.” She corrected, as if it were obvious.</p>
<p>“Oh... your parents.”</p>
<p>And maybe he should have tried to at least lie a little, pretend that he had hope, that Mikasa would surely find them; but his tone of voice came out flat as he threw a tiny rock inside of the pond.</p>
<p>He heard her chuckle in response.</p>
<p>“Home, actually. I want us three to see our tree again... Read stories- I know it sounds stupid but...” And whatever she was about to say died in her mouth. Instead of finishing it, she put her notebook in front of him, and opened the page he saw earlier. He took it in his hands and began reading.</p>
<p>
  <cite> - Get a new <del>home</del> place to live.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Food (<del>steal</del>) (get a job).</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- My birthday.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Armin’s birthday.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Eren’s birthday. </cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Enlisting.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Scouting Legion.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Wall Maria.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Home.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Outside world.</cite>
</p>
<p>
  <cite>- Ocean (for Armin).</cite>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eren lifted his gaze to look at her only to find Mikasa giving him a short nod.</p>
<p>“Your parents aren’t in this-“</p>
<p>“I figured after the third expedition where they hadn’t found survivors... Armin always seemed so unsurprised by it,” She sighed. </p>
<p>“Mikasa-“</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I have you two... And we still have our stories.”</p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“Our stories. I want for us to see the ocean and build a house near our tree. I think that would be a pretty good ending,”</p>
<p>Eren was utterly frozen in place. So, all this time... She knew, of course she did. Armin had the hope that her goals were something else other than to see them happy and safe. They weren’t, Mikasa would always be a protector. A selfless one.</p>
<p>“Don’t you think?” She asked him with warm eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think that would be a pretty good ending.” He replied with a smile.</p>
<p>Who knew, maybe this time around it could be true. Maybe that would be their story ending, the happily ever after that Eren had spent all his lifetimes looking for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Eren,” He heard a sweet voice calling for him, whispering. His eyes were heavy, it took a lot of effort to try opening them. “Eren, wake up.” </p>
<p>He cracked one eye open, the blond boy being the first thing he saw. Confused, he blinked as he tried to clear his vision, taking in the rest of the room, the room he shared with Mikasa and Armin.</p>
<p>“It’s still dark...” He replied lazily as he snuggled inside of his blanket, closing his eyes again.</p>
<p>“I know, doofus, that’s kinda the whole point-“ </p>
<p>But his words were interrupted as Eren reached out to grab his hand and pull him down to the bed, making room for the boy to lie down with him.</p>
<p>“Shhh, sleep,” </p>
<p>He heard Armin laughing softly in return.</p>
<p>“Come on, you can sleep later. I want to give you your birthday present, just us.”</p>
<p>At that, Eren snapped his eyes wide open. </p>
<p><cite>Birthday</cite> present? But...</p>
<p>He remembered the whole thing, all the timelines-</p>
<p>“Am I twelve already?” He asked, trying for it not to come out as confused as it did.</p>
<p>“<cite>No,</cite> but if you keep waiting you will be and you’ll end up without your present.”</p>
<p>He nodded absently before rubbing his eyes. Armin offered him his hand for him to take it and guided him outside of the little house attached to the stable. Mikasa was still soundly asleep.</p>
<p>The chill air felt like a bucket of cold water for Eren, right now he missed the warmth of his bed but he couldn’t deny that he felt rather giddy with excitement from the whole thing. Just them, Armin had said. Eren couldn’t remember when was the last time that they had done something just the two of them.</p>
<p>“Here,” The boy said, leaving his hand to unfold a blanket that he was carrying and put it over the cold grass. Eren tried to ignore how lonely his hand felt now.</p>
<p>The blond gestured for him to lay down the blanket and Eren, of course, did as he was told. Armin laid down right next to him too. </p>
<p>“So... my present?”</p>
<p>“You’re very impatient; has anyone told you that?”</p>
<p>A soft smile appeared on Eren’s lips.</p>
<p>“Mom used to...”</p>
<p>“She was a very smart woman,” He heard him say, still looking at the night-sky.</p>
<p>He just hummed in response, also looking at the sky. It seemed like the darkness was enlightened by a thousand floating lights, shining bright. The stars were something that Eren had always found amazing.</p>
<p>Armin was looking at his pocket watch, the one that used to belong to his Grandfather, when suddenly he took his hand and squeezed tight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh! It’s almost time! Make a wish, Eren! The thing you want the most-“</p>
<p>
  <cite> ‘I want to see the world with you, to grow old with you, Armin’ </cite>
</p>
<p>And then he saw it. A shooting star, blindingly beautiful, almost blue as Armin’s eyes, crossing the night-sky.</p>
<p>Something changed in him then, something shifted in his mind.</p>
<p>“Happy birthday, Eren” </p>
<p>He turned around  only to see Armin beaming at him. He felt dizzy. He felt dizzy but he also felt so-</p>
<p>“Why are you crying?” He asked as he touched his cheek gently.</p>
<p>In his mind there was only Armin. Old Armin. Young Armin. Armin’s smile, Armin’s eyes... His long blond hair, short hair. Everything and nothing. Life. Death. </p>
<p>“Eren-“</p>
<p>It was over, he couldn’t recognize which timeline was the original and which were the alterations. Had there ever been an original timeline? He was rapidly forgetting fucking everything. It all seemed like a dream, an eternal dream. </p>
<p>But if it was a dream it was a dream full of Armin. And how beautiful was that?</p>
<p>“I’m just so happy...” He replied and a sob escaped his lips, before a smile invaded his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Training</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi!! I’ve written one scene per year of training. I really hope you like this chapter, it took me a long time to write it (you’ll see that’s a lot longer than the other chapters). </p>
<p>Please leave your opinions and thoughts in the comments 🙏🏻 They mean a lot to me  and help me see how you’re reacting to the turns of the story 💕✨</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> First year</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Training started and soon enough Mikasa, Armin and Eren turned out to be the main topic of conversation around the 104th. </p>
<p>It started out because Mikasa was the one who showed, not only a natural talent with the 3DM gear, but an elegant, almost effortless, way of fighting and moving. Then, it was because Eren had gained himself the “suicidal” title when he admitted that his main reason to enlist was the opportunity to kill as many Titans as he could... And finally it was Armin who, even though he was quick on his feet, had almost perfect resistance with the gear, and, on top of all, could make up a solution/ plan in every single training session; kept coming out last or second to last in the weekly rankings. But it wasn’t just that, no, what the 104th found unbelievable was his lack of interest in the matter.</p>
<p>On a particular evening, two months into training already, it had been Jean who couldn’t resist to ask. Everyone had tried to talk about it casually <cite>‘I would’ve been first this week’, ‘Reiner, you went up two ranks, congrats!’, ‘You’re still first in rank Mikasa...’ </cite> and every single time they would steal glances from the blond boy, sitting right in the middle of Mikasa and him, as he kept eating his dinner, only to realize that he wore the most unbothered look on his face. </p>
<p>“Hey, Arlert!” Horse-face had called from the other side of the table.</p>
<p>Armin turned around, half a smile still on his face from whatever thing that Mikasa had said, and blinked at Jean, surprised that the boy was even speaking at him directly. Most of the times he utterly ignored Armin (probably because of his ridiculous crush on Mikasa).</p>
<p>“Yeah...?”</p>
<p>“You keep coming up second to last or something,”</p>
<p>Connie nudged him from the side, his face uncomfortable as he saw Eren narrowing his eyes at Jean and Mikasa practically growling at the mere hint of an insult.</p>
<p>When Eren turned to look at Armin he simply found that he seemed kind of amused at the comment.</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“<cite>Why?</cite>” Jean asked like the question had been obvious since the start.</p>
<p>“Oh,” The boy said before shrugging. “Because the first ten get the privilege of going to the Military Police and I honestly don’t care.”</p>
<p>“What?” He heard Reiner ask, confused.</p>
<p>“I’m going into the Survey Corps. Everyone hates them, there’s not much effort I have to put for me to get in... because of the lack of recruits they’re practically desperate. As long as they don’t kick me out in training, that’s fine with me.”</p>
<p>“You’re serious?” And that was Annie, who had turned around from the other table as he heard the boy.</p>
<p>Armin looked at her, probably trying to understand the meaning behind the question. A meaning that Eren didn’t have to work to understand. </p>
<p>The only good thing about losing his memories, like, not remembering properly, was that the ‘knowing’ had been replaced with this ‘hunch’. Eren, to be honest, kind of hated that he had a hunch about the way that Annie acted around Armin. The only good thing about the situation was that Mikasa apparently had the same hunch and practically took turns with Eren to hoard Armin’s attention, leaving almost nothing for the rest, much less Annie of all people.</p>
<p>“Yes, I think that if I add one more Wall to my life I might spontaneously combust.”</p>
<p>Marco chocked with his water as he bursted into laughter.</p>
<p>“You’re insane, aren’t you?” Jean asked arching an eyebrow, amused expression on his face.</p>
<p>“Not more than we are,” Mikasa cut him short. “We’re going into the Survey Corps too.” She said gesturing between Eren and her.</p>
<p>And suddenly the table exploded in concerns and shocked reactions.</p>
<p>“You’re <cite>kidding</cite>-“</p>
<p>“But you’re the best ones in our class!”</p>
<p>“Not Jaeger-“</p>
<p>“But Mikasa is!!”</p>
<p>And after fifteen whole minutes of them trying to explain their motives, It was Armin who shut them all up for good.</p>
<p>“It was just something that we’ve been planning since Wall Maria fell. I want to get out because I <cite>need</cite> to get out- if The scouting legion allows it, that’s where I’m going.” His voice was so calm and assuring, like he was just telling them another story, another ending. “Eren and Mikasa are free to do whatever they want, we still have three years ahead of us so nothing is set on stone-“</p>
<p>“Yes, it <cite>is</cite>-“ Mikasa tried to argue.</p>
<p>“No, it’s really not. You both act like either we stay together or we <cite>die</cite> or something-“</p>
<p>“Well, given our luck it wouldn’t be so <cite>strange</cite>, would it?!” She sounded so pissed off, a tone that he rarely used when talking to Armin.</p>
<p>The flashbacks came and it felt like a bullet right into his brain.</p>
<p>Armin burned to death in battle.</p>
<p>Armin crushed by a building.</p>
<p>Armin being devoured by a Titan.</p>
<p>Armin drowning in the sea.</p>
<p>Armin getting shot.</p>
<p>Armin falling off-</p>
<p>It wasn’t until he felt arms around him that he realized that the air wasn’t getting in and he couldn’t exactly hear what was going on around him, only the screams, the  crying-</p>
<p>He felt a kiss on his forehead, grounding him, bringing him back.</p>
<p>“Stop, please, stop. We’re good. We’re together. I swear we’re okay-“ </p>
<p>He blinked, clearing his vision. Armin was hugging him, his lips still on his forehead as he kept reassuring him. Mikasa was holding his hand, her head resting on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Eren. Armin isn’t leaving, <cite>right</cite>?” And even without seeing her face, Eren knew she was sending a death glare towards the blond boy.</p>
<p>“No, of course not.”</p>
<p>And when Eren glanced at the rest of the table, he saw the shock on everyone’s faces. No one made a comment after that, Connie and Sasha managed to change the topic of the conversation. </p>
<p>Armin and Mikasa stayed weirdly quiet after that. </p>
<p>**</p>
<p>
  <strong>Second year</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was their day-off, yes, surprisingly they had one of those per week. </p>
<p>Spring was ending, it was one of those days that you could easily mistake for a summer one, the sun radiating, the heat almost unbearable and everyone in the 104th seemed to be dying from heatstroke... well, almost everyone.</p>
<p>“You’re going to get sunburned, Armin-“ </p>
<p>“You’re not my mother, Mikasa” The blond boy replied with an almost singing tone in his voice. Eren could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.</p>
<p>“Why do I even bother,” He heard her mumble before grabbing the hat she was about to offer to Armin, to put it on her head instead.</p>
<p>Armin was currently shirtless, lying on the grass, while the rest of them tried to find some kind of shelter from the sun under the shadow of some trees a couple of meters behind him. </p>
<p>It wasn’t odd; Armin loved the summer and everything that came with it, the sun, the warmth and the blue skies. When they were little they would spend a lot of the summer right by the river, the smile in Armin’s face was always more bright and blinding in those kinds of days... And right now he wore that same smile as he laid on the grass, letting the sun tan his white skin (or burn it would be more like it)... In all honesty, neither him nor Mikasa should complain about it, they should let him just <cite>be</cite>, you know? </p>
<p>But it wasn’t that simple.</p>
<p>Armin’s skin almost seemed to be glowing under the sun... If he looked hard enough he could see the muscles that were already developing on his arms and stomach; his lean neck exposed-</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>Being thirteen was the <cite>worst</cite>.</p>
<p>And Eren knew that he wasn’t the only one noticing it. Mikasa obviously had, given the blush on his cheeks and the couple of times she had suggested him to put on a shirt (she had been ignored, of course). And he didn’t want to turn around to see how many of the rest were checking him out.</p>
<p>He felt a punch on his arm and he wasn’t surprise to found Mikasa’s irritated expression once he turned around.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“<cite>Say something</cite>. He listens to you.”</p>
<p>Eren sighed tiredly. ‘<cite>Here goes nothing</cite>’.</p>
<p>“Hey, Armin!”</p>
<p>“Yes, Eren?”</p>
<p>“Do you want to go for a walk or something?”</p>
<p>The blond boy turned his head over his shoulder to glance at them and then he turned to where the sun was.</p>
<p>“How about in an hour or so?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Eren responded before gaining himself another punch from Mikasa.</p>
<p>“<cite>Stop</cite>. That hurts-“</p>
<p>“You did <cite>nothing</cite>-“</p>
<p>“I did, his showing off won’t last more than another hour.”</p>
<p>A chuckle irrupted their conversation. When they both turned to look at where it came from they saw Annie smirking while reading her stupid book.</p>
<p>“What?” Mikasa asked.</p>
<p>“Nothing, Ackerman.”</p>
<p>“We’re just worried about him. Not that you know anything about caring for someone.”</p>
<p>It was weird, the way that they spoke to each other. Eren wasn’t sure if it was for this unspoken competition that they had between the two of them... But Mikasa always spoke to her a little more aggressively than to anyone else.</p>
<p>“I know just enough.” Annie replied without even sparing a glance at her. She was careful to lower her voice for Armin not to hear the next part though. “Like for example: I know that you’re both suffocating that boy with how much you pamper him and eventually he’s going to pull away-“</p>
<p>“Stop, Leonhart.” Reiner cut her short.</p>
<p>“I’m just being honest.” She said easily as she shut her book. “Here, I’ll give you a demonstration and everything.”</p>
<p>Eren narrowed his eyes and as a reflex he grabbed Mikasa’s arm to stop her. In retrospective, he should’ve just let her punch Annie.</p>
<p>The blond girl stood up, taking her shirt off, only keeping her undershirt before walking over to where Armin was. She silently sat next to him and the blue-eyed boy only smiled at her.<br/>Eren could feel Mikasa tensing right beside him.</p>
<p>As for him, it all went smoothly for a while. Like, they were just next to each other. What was Annie trying to prove, right? Eren sat next to Armin all the time, it wasn’t exactly new or threatening-</p>
<p>“Your hair is all over your face. You’re going to burn with marks and look like an idiot, Arlert.”</p>
<p>Armin let out a snort before getting up, sitting beside her now. Then, he tried to pull his hair back for the millionth time that afternoon.</p>
<p>“I know, it just doesn’t stay there-“</p>
<p>“Here, let me.” Annie said, aloof, <cite>cool</cite>, borderline uninterested tone in her voice, before reaching out to grab a handful of Armin’s golden hair and starting to braid it.</p>
<p>Even sitting there, Eren could see the blush on Armin’s face and the nervous laughter escaping his lips. </p>
<p>“What? Never seen a pretty girl up close?” Annie asked him, her hands working fast.</p>
<p>“You’re full of yourself, aren’t you?” Armin said with an amused tone in his voice and Annie only limited herself to finish the braid while smirking.</p>
<p>“I’m going to kick her ass.” Mikasa declared, voice low and determined.</p>
<p>“By all means.” </p>
<p>Eren really should’ve just let Mikasa punch her earlier.</p>
<p>**</p>
<p>
  <strong> Third year</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The knocking was unbearable. It felt like their door was being bombarded by rocks <cite>too</cite> early in the morning.</p>
<p>“God Damn it.” Reiner cursed.</p>
<p>“If this is Shadis I’m going to kill myself.” That was Marco.</p>
<p>“It must be an emergency-“ Berthold tried to calm them.</p>
<p>“Eren!” Mikasa’s voice was loud even from the other side of the door.</p>
<p>“Oh my god Jaeger, I’m going to castrate you-“ Jean started but he was interrupted.</p>
<p>“Eren! It’s Armin! Open up!” Mikasa sounded even more desperate now. </p>
<p>At that, Eren’s eyes opened up instantly. He turned to look at the bed beside him; empty. <cite>What</cite>-</p>
<p>More knocking, even louder this time.</p>
<p>“EREN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET UP AND OPEN THE DOOR.” Connie yelled at him before putting a pillow over his face. (To be fair, he was almost getting to the door at that point).</p>
<p>He opened it only to find Mikasa with some dress and a sweater, she clearly had dressed in a rush.</p>
<p>“He’s <cite>training</cite>. His leg is still bad from last week! I’m going to murder Leonhart.“</p>
<p>“Okay, I don’t understand. Where is he? You can explain on the way-“</p>
<p>“AWAY FROM HERE!” Jean yelled.</p>
<p>“Please,” Marco added with a soft and kind tone that basically shut horse-face right up.</p>
<p>Eren closed the door behind him. He didn’t even got a chance to change himself up. The air was kind of cold because of the early morning but nothing he couldn’t handle.</p>
<p>“This way.” Mikasa said and started to walk towards the woods.</p>
<p>“Training?” He tried to sound calm, he was worried but he knew it wouldn’t help to show that to her.</p>
<p>She practically growled in frustration as a response.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s this <cite>ridiculous</cite> idea that he has- He’s not <cite>weak</cite>! The other day Reiner apparently offered to carry his bag ‘cause he was almost passing out from exhaustion and he took it really bad.”</p>
<p>“I’m still not getting how Annie is involved...”</p>
<p>“He’s training with her. I heard something yesterday and today I followed her. He’s there.”</p>
<p>Eren didn’t ask anything more than that. Armin should’ve been still resting, last week he had taken the wrong turn with the gear and hurt himself with a tree branch as he fell. The doctor had said that it should be fine but an injury like that needed to be taken seriously. Shadis hadn’t cut him off training for nothing. It was only two weeks, he could’ve waited for two weeks.</p>
<p>They got to a forest clearing and promptly they saw them. </p>
<p>They were practicing body combat. Annie was practically putting no effort into it while Armin had clearly frustration and tiredness written all over his face. </p>
<p>Eren almost had to remind himself that he should inhale in order to keep on breathing properly.</p>
<p>Armin’s eyebrows settled in a frown. His breathing agitated. The sweat falling off his forehead. His hair fixed with a French braid on the side that kept the hair from falling on his eyes. The concentration. The way that his body moved.</p>
<p>Being fourteen was even worse than being thirteen, Eren concluded.</p>
<p>“She thinks she’s so cool and pretty.” Mikasa scoffed while crossing her arms over her chest. </p>
<p>Eren blinked and it took a moment for him to be able to change his focus from Armin to Annie. And, really, how could Mikasa even notice her when Armin was right there?</p>
<p>Armin started to move a little faster, steadier, punching harder, and Annie started to put a little effort too.</p>
<p>There was something in her eyes too. The same thing that Eren hated. He hated it because it seemed like a glint of malice, something that intrigued Armin and it shouldn’t even gain a second glance from someone as good as him. He hated it because that glint always caused somekind of reaction from Armin. </p>
<p>Then, Annie smirked when she blocked a hook to her ribs. And it was enough to motivate the blond boy, because Eren could see it, he could see the need and the urge in Armin to just <cite>wipe that smirk off</cite>. </p>
<p>It almost hurt to see. That part of Armin wasn’t for Eren. At least he’d never seen it. Not that he remembered... But he had forgotten so much already... How could he ever be sure?</p>
<p>Annie pushed Armin a little too hard and made him lose his balance. Or that seemed to happen, because promptly the boy was using the impulse to attack again.</p>
<p>His entire weight went to his left leg, for a moment it seemed like he was about to fall on his back, but he quickly changed his weight right back and kicked her on her face. </p>
<p>It was rather bizarre that while Annie put a hand over her jaw and hissed in pain, Armin wore a big blinding smile.</p>
<p>“Don’t be too smug about it, Arlert.”</p>
<p>“Oh, but I am,” He replied. “Are you okay-“ Armin asked, trying to take a step forward but tripping instead. </p>
<p>He grabbed his leg and cursed in pain and that was enough for Eren to run right up to him, Mikasa not far behind.</p>
<p>Annie wasn’t surprised to see them. She probably heard them come as they were fighting... Armin on the other hand-</p>
<p>“What the <cite>hell</cite> are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“What are <cite>you</cite> doing here, Armin? You’re hurt-“</p>
<p>“Oh my god! It’s barely a thing!”</p>
<p>“It’s not. You just fell because you’ve overdone yourself.” Eren said and Armin closed his mouth and puffed his red cheeks while he frowned.</p>
<p>“Thanks a lot by the way.” Mikasa scoffed at Annie. The girl was about to respond when Armin cut her off.</p>
<p>“Don’t talk to her like that.” He took Eren’s hand to help himself up and then offered the blond girl a soft smile. Eren was deciding whether to barf right there or not. “See you later, Annie.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” She replied almost rolling her eyes. </p>
<p>They walked in silence back to the their rooms. And even though Armin was clearly in pain, he didn’t accept any help. His face was too pissed off for Eren’s liking, specially considering that <cite>he</cite> was wrong in this situation. He shouldn’t have pushed himself, and he shouldn’t have been hiding it.</p>
<p>The sun wasn’t even up yet, if he tried hard enough he could see the soft clear light bordering the night-sky... They probably had like one hour until they had to get up and change into their uniforms. </p>
<p>“See you at breakfast,” Mikasa said, her voice a little softer than normal. Eren nodded and when the blond didn’t even turned around, she insisted, “Armin,”</p>
<p>“Yes, Mikasa. Of course I’ll be at breakfast, where else would I be?.” He responded with certain annoyance. </p>
<p>It took only a moment for Armin to realize that he was being rude to her, something that didn’t sit well with Mikasa. He stopped before getting to the porch, turned around and walked to where she was standing.</p>
<p>“That was unfair. Sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay...” She replied, her voice barely audible.</p>
<p>“It’s not, I was being an arsehole. You worry, It’s who you are.” And when Mikasa stayed in silence, he added: “It’s a good thing, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay...” </p>
<p>He saw Armin squeezing her hand sightly before turning around and gesturing him that they should go inside. Eren watched Mikasa bit her own smile before he followed Armin inside. </p>
<p>The rest of the boys slept soundly which seemed almost impossible after the interruption that they had suffered not more than half an hour ago. The blond moved quietly on his way to their beds, one right beside the other, and laid on his. Eren didn’t say a word as he did the same.</p>
<p>After a few minutes without talking, Eren decided to close his eyes and maybe try to sleep for a little bit before they had to get up. </p>
<p>“Did you see me?” Armin asked, his voice trying to sound aloof but Eren could hear there was something more there.</p>
<p>“Fighting?” He asked, opening his eyes again.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” He admitted, “You were fantastic.” </p>
<p>“Really?” Armin asked, turning around to look at him, smile on his face. His blue, gorgeous eyes, shining with joy.</p>
<p>“Really. And that kick:“ Eren started before smiling too. “Immaculate”</p>
<p>The blond boy laughed, soft giggles mixing with the snores in the room, and Eren started to feel giddy with how beautiful he looked.</p>
<p>At least it was the first time since he’d woken up that he felt something other than his stupid jealousy.</p>
<p>“You really shouldn’t push yourself though. If you injure badly it’s going to be a problem.” </p>
<p>Armin made a face before looking away, avoiding his eyes.</p>
<p>“I just don’t want to be a burden,” He let out a sigh. “I would’ve ask you guys but you would’ve said no.”</p>
<p>Eren took Armin’s hand then and with the other he grabbed his chin to force those blue eyes on him.</p>
<p>“You’re never a burden. Ever.”</p>
<p>Even in the darkness of the room he could see red coloring his cheeks. And for a moment, (he probably was just hallucinating) he could swore he saw Armin’s eyes lowering themselves, focusing on Eren’s lips. Then, the blond closed his eyes and shook his head with a fond expression.</p>
<p>“You’re so <cite>solemn</cite> sometimes.”</p>
<p>And what was he supposed to say to that? ‘<cite>Yes, I’m trying to be one of those knights from the stories that you wrote</cite>’? No, instead, he decided to change the subject.</p>
<p>“I imagine that being alone with Annie in the middle of the night couldn’t hurt too much either, right?” </p>
<p>He asked it and made an effort to avoid his eyes. The silence stretched between them, unbearable. After a while he couldn’t resist to raise his eyes again, green meeting blue ones.</p>
<p>“Are you asking me if I like Annie?” The blond questioned, raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Maybe.”</p>
<p>Eren wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. But, in all honesty, the blond boy blinking in confusion and, well, <cite>considering</cite> whether he liked the girl or not, was not what he had been expecting.</p>
<p>“I don’t know...” He said narrowing his eyes. “She’s cool, pretty, kind of short tempered but I’m used to that with you...”</p>
<p>“You’re not answering the question, Armin.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so... I think she’s just a friend that I find pretty. Does that make sense?”</p>
<p>
  <cite>’No.’</cite>
</p>
<p>“Yes.”  He responded, “We should rest before Shadis calls.”</p>
<p>Armin nodded and closed his eyes.</p>
<p>
  <cite>’ Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask. Go to sleep. Don’t ask.’</cite>
</p>
<p>“ Are there any other friends that you find pretty or something?”</p>
<p>Armin chuckled softly, his eyes still closed.</p>
<p>“Go to sleep, Eren.”</p>
<p>“Oh <cite>come on</cite>-“</p>
<p>And he was probably going to complain a whole lot more but the boy put his hand over his face. His soft fingers guiding his eyelids, closing them. Armin would always find the most weird and intimate way of touching him, and then acted like everyone just did that; like if everyone touched their best friend’s eyelids before falling asleep. </p>
<p>“Sleep.” He commanded again and Eren couldn’t refuse him. </p>
<p>He could never refuse Armin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Truth or Dare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, everyone! I’m sorry it took so long for me to update. I’ve been dealing with some things at college and that normally affects my whole life. </p><p>I’m not abandoning this fic. Like, ever. This chapter was particularly difficult to write because it has too many dialogues and that always gives me Like a writer’s block(? But it’s okay, finally it’s here. </p><p>I know it’s short but I hope you enjoy it all the same 🥰✨</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was their last night before graduation, the next day they would be moved and fill the applications before vowing loyalty to humanity and eventually, they would get separated. </p><p>Eren had this <cite>feeling</cite>, this  hunch, and it wasn’t one of the good ones. He couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t fucking <cite>remember</cite>-</p><p>“Are you playing?” </p><p>Eren turned around as he heard the soft voice, only to find Armin gesturing to where Jean was yelling instructions.</p><p>“Nah, I don’t think so,”</p><p>“Are you alright? You’ve been off the last few days,”</p><p>There were times like this when Eren just wanted to curl into his bed and ask Armin to hold him... Because he couldn’t explain what was wrong but something definitely was, and he just wanted to stop thinking about it. </p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p>“Eren,” He said, clearly not buying it.</p><p>“I’m fine, Armin.” He assured him but the blond didn’t seem convince so he added: “Come on, I’ll play.” </p><p>Armin didn’t say anything after that, he just followed to meet the others. They sat on the floor, completing the circle and the game started.</p><p>“Truth or dare?” Jean asked Mikasa.</p><p>“I don’t know, truth?”</p><p>“Do you have a crush on someone?” </p><p>Eren had to actually restrain himself from rolling his eyes. At this point everyone with two working eyes could answer that question. Still, It made Mikasa blush horribly; she was actively trying to avoid Armin’s eyes, Eren could see it, while she responded.</p><p>“Y-yes.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“It’s only one question, horse-face.” Eren cut him off; Mikasa offered a kind smile as a thank you.</p><p>“It’s your turn,” Sasha pointed out and, (probably because she didn’t want to think much or put much effort into the game) Mikasa chose to ask her.</p><p>“Truth” </p><p>“Oh come on, Sasha! Don’t be a wuss-“ Connie started to say.</p><p>“Hey! I just don’t want to get up. Too much effort.”</p><p>“If you had to eat the same food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”</p><p>It was funny because Sasha gasped and her cheeks became all puffy and red, her face indignant that she was supposed to pick just <cite>one</cite>- It took her like five whole whole minutes to settle down for an answer that ended up being meat (probably because they didn’t have a lot of it since the fall of Wall Maria).</p><p>The game continued, everyone was laughing. Between the dates and the silly questions everyone seemed to be having a good time. (Even him; after daring Jean to make a horse-like sound, how could he ever not be having fun?)</p><p>“Arlert” Annie’s smooth voice started, “Truth or Dare?”</p><p>“Truth,” Armin answered easily.</p><p>“Who do you like?”</p><p>And Eren, who’ve chosen that very same moment to take a sip from his cup, almost spat it out. His neck turned so fast to look at Armin that it almost cracked. </p><p>The blond had his face redder than ever and a sightly betrayed expression on his face.</p><p>“I’m not answering that.” </p><p>“It’s that or a dare. Rules are rules” Connie said.</p><p>“Then I choose dare. I’m not answering that.” Armin cut him short.</p><p>Something shifted in Annie’s eyes. Eren wanted her to stop talking even before she opened up her mouth to say the words.</p><p>“Fine, I dare you to kiss Ackerman then.” </p><p>“<cite> Annie</cite>” Armin hissed at her.</p><p>A few of them gasped. Eren froze in place, only his eyes traveling to where Mikasa was. Red face, stuttering, her eyes going from Armin to Annie. </p><p>“Either you confess or you kiss her, Blondie. Which one is it going to be?”</p><p>“I- I mean-“ And his blue, kind, pleading eyes, met Mikasa’s... Silently asking if it was okay.</p><p>Of course it was okay. </p><p>Eren was biting his own tongue to keep himself from screaming. </p><p>They met halfway in the middle of the floor. Everyone was laughing, Eren couldn’t tell if it was as an encouragement or if they were laughing at them.  Or maybe, just  maybe they were laughing at Eren’s face while he was seeing it all happen.</p><p>The first kiss of Mikasa and Armin. </p><p>He could almost throw up just from this. Mikasa’s delicate and beautiful face tilting just a little bit to the right, Armin closing his eyes and leaning forward... their lips touching. </p><p>His feet were faster than his brain because, not even a second later, he was out the door. </p><p>The chilling air was at least a little calming. On the outside. On the inside things were different. </p><p>Blue eyes closing.</p><p>Armin’s soft pink lips.</p><p>Mikasa blushing.</p><p>Nausea.</p><p>And what was that compared to this <cite>feeling</cite>?</p><p><cite>Death</cite>-</p><p>“Eren?” </p><p>He must’ve been so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard the cabin door creak nor Armin’s feet crushing the little twigs under them. </p><p>“I’m okay, the wine didn’t seat well for me.”</p><p>Silence. Slowly Armin made his way towards him.</p><p>“Yeah. Now try it without lying.”</p><p>And that was all that Eren needed to, well, go off.</p><p>“<cite>What</cite> do you want me to say? You already know that something is wrong, you know I don’t want to talk about it and you keep- You just keep asking because you know that I’ll cave! Well guess what?? <cite>I’m not going to.</cite>”</p><p>“Look, I’m sorry, okay?”</p><p>No, it definitely wasn’t <cite> okay</cite>.</p><p>“My world doesn’t revolve around <cite>you</cite> Armin-“</p><p>“I know that-“</p><p>“Do you? Because you just came to look for me after the-“ He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t. “But I’m just worried about... I don’t know how to explain it. Something is <cite>fucking wrong</cite> and I don’t know how to stop it, something horrible is going to happen. I just know it.”</p><p>“Are you scared about tomorrow?”</p><p>“<cite>Yes</cite>.” He admitted almost with a whisper. Yes, he was so scared that he could just stop breathing at any given moment.</p><p>Armin took his hand and squeezed it gently.</p><p>“Don’t be. You’re one of the best in the  104th. I’ll understand if you want to join the Military Police. Really, I’ll be fine-“</p><p>“I’m not leaving you. I want to join the Scouting Legion, we talked about this.”</p><p>“I just want you to know that I’m okay, I’ll be okay-“</p><p>“It’s not that!! And <cite>you’re not listening</cite>. There’s something <cite>wrong</cite>.”</p><p>He knew that he was crushing Armin’s hand right then but he couldn’t stop, And he couldn’t let go. </p><p>"I- I just- <cite>Fuck </cite>,"</p><p>"Eren, breathe, okay? It's okay-"</p><p>"<cite>Stop saying that.</cite> You don't know that."</p><p>"But you do? How does that work?" The boy scoffed back at him. </p><p>And eren wished to tell him. But he couldn't... How could he? What could he say? That he just had a feeling? That he sensed death? That the <cite>goddamn flashbacks </cite> were playing on repeat on his head and he didn't know which one was the more likely to happen because all of them felt like nightmares, and that he has this particular memory of Armin getting eaten right in front of him-</p><p>Gentle hands cupped his face. Blue eyes. Ocean eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I believe you. Something is wrong."</p><p>It was right there and then that Eren noticed tears rolling down his face.</p><p>"Don't say that just because I'm a mess."</p><p>"I don't lie to you, remember? If I told you I believe you It's because I do."</p><p>"...Really?"</p><p>A soft smile adorned Armin's lips. </p><p>"Really."</p><p>"I don't know how to fix this-" He stated before a sob escaped his mouth.</p><p>The silence that followed spoke more than a thousand words. Because Armin couldn't offer a solution to him. Armin couldn't promise that things would get better or even be okay.</p><p>"Guys...?" He heard Mikasa's voice behind him. Armin looked at her before letting go of his face, shifting sightly away from him.</p><p>It was funny because the mental breakdown almost had him forgetting what had happen in the cabin. He hated Annie. And right now he kind of hated Mikasa too.</p><p>Or maybe he wished to actually hate her. </p><p>Eren wasn't looking but he knew that they were doing that thing where they spoke without actually talking. </p><p>"I'll be inside." Armin stated leaving both of them alone.</p><p>Silence streached between them. Eren never turned around but, eventually, Mikasa stood right beside him.</p><p>"I didn't want that to happen, you know." She said, clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So I was already humilliated and everyone thought it was hilarious even though I wanted to cry. You can't be mad at me."</p><p>"Fine, I don't care. I'm not mad. Happy?"</p><p>"Eren."</p><p>"<cite>What</cite>, Mikasa? Believe it or not I have other things in my mind than your stupid kiss with Armin."</p><p>He started to walk to the cabin and of course Mikasa followed.</p><p>"You were just crying-"</p><p>"Not because of that. I don't care what you do with him."</p><p>He felt her grabbing him by the wrist with so much strenght that he had to stop. </p><p>"He thinks you're mad because you like <cite>me </cite>, Eren. Stop being a baby and just talk to him." He refused to answer so Mikasa continued. "It felt-"</p><p>"Oh my god, <cite> shut up </cite>. I don't want to hear whatever the fuck it felt like."</p><p>With a clean movement she pulled his arm and turned him around  to face her. Determination set in her eyes.</p><p>" It felt wrong."</p><p>Suddenly, he felt like the pressure of his chest had dissapeared. He blinked, one, two three times. </p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it. I still- I feel the same about him but I really didn't like to kiss him. I don't know what it means, it's confusing. But you stormed out and now you're mad and I want it to stop so I'm telling you: It felt wrong." </p><p>"Oh,"</p><p>"Yeah, oh." She sighed. "Are you going to tell him?"</p><p>"I don't think so, no." </p><p>"<cite>Eren</cite>"</p><p>"Shut up and hug me." And Mikasa did.</p><p>She never asked why was he actually crying about and Eren was grateful for it.</p>
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